Be Kind Rewind *or* Say "No Thanks"

Alright, so it's inevitable that not everyone on match clicks, connects, falls in love (or at least in like) with every single person. It's ok. It happens (in fact you want it to happen, so when you do meet the person that you like and who likes you in return, you'll know to recognize it as special and rare occurrence and will treat it as such) .

So you are on match, you look, you read the profile, or browse the photos, maybe scroll down to the income/education part - whatever your priorities are. You like what you see, perhaps overlook a few things that surely you could change/improve with your winning personality and can't-reject-smile, and then you wink, or if you are very brave, email the person. And then you wait.

An hour? two? several? How long does it really take for him to email you back? You sulk for a few days, repeatedly clicking on the person's profile, trying to figure out when's the last time they logged on match. Have they received your wink? Have they seen your email? Perhaps they are not even paying for a match membership (what was that income bracket again?) and can't read your original, funny, and witty message. What's a girl to do?

Serious obsession, short loss of breath, and panic attacks are likely to take place. We might send your profile to our girlfriends for a line-by-line analysis, looking for a single clue that will make everything clear to us - because surely, it is just impossible that you don't like us, right?

Guys!!! Spare us, please! I know that sometimes, no answer is the answer. But why not take an extra second and click on the magical "no thanks" button so thoughtfully provided by match? If you so wish, you could even let us know exactly why you don't like us. Either way, it is a pretty clear indication to us that we are not meant to be, and to move on to the next profile. So, be kind, click "no thanks."

Dating Math

A long, long time ago, probably back in elementary school, I was taught the rules of rounding. Remember? If the number is 0.5 or larger, you round up, so a 5.6 becomes a 6. But if a number is 0.4 or less, you have to round down - a 7.3 becomes a 7. Brings back memories, huh?

Well, apparently, the simple laws of math are lost on many. Enter dating math. Let me explain. One of the profile characteristics you fill out on your match profile is your height. "Shockingly" match asks you for your height in feet and inches, therefore, supposedly, not leaving room for any rounding up (why would you want to round down, right?). So a guy who is 5-foot-6-inches tall, can't magically become a 6-foot fellow, correct? Ah!!! But a 5-foot-6-inch guy, somehow becomes a 5-foot-10-inch guy. How might you ask? Dating math!

Here are my thoughts. Lying is a bad idea period. Lying about something as obvious as your height is plain stupid. Do you think that we won't notice that you are 2-4 inches shorter than you claim? Perhaps you think that we might forget that we are wearing 1-2-3- inch heels, or maybe it's your lucky day and we are wearing flip flops or ballet slippers. You wish!

In reality, some of us, or at least I do, pick out our shoes according to your height. Personally, I'm not a fan of towering over my date. So imagine my disappointment (in your height and your integrity) when I show up on our date (aka meeting) and you are much shorter than you claim.

So guys, please, be honest. Say how tall you really are, not how tall you think you need to be in order for us to go out with you.

And on a separate note, I just bought a pair of 4" wedge sandals, so I'm looking for my 6-foot-tall guy (no dating math here).

I'm Not Looking for a Pen Pal

Dear men, it is a pleasure to meet you on match and exchange emails, it really is. Some of you are funny, witty, intelligent and captivating. I love that some of you spend an extra minute or two to use spell check and write with proper punctuation and even use a paragraph form. It's truly delightful.

However, I did not join match looking for pen pals. Please let's not have emails going back and forth for an eternity - unless you are hoping that one day we will publish Volumes I and II of "Love in the Making - The Story of Us."

So I propose a timeline - you/I wink, I/you email an introductory message, the message is returned, there's interest. In the next round or two of emails the phone numbers are exchanged and are shortly thereafter put into use. Following a successful phone conversation a first meeting (yes, a meeting, not a date) is set, and we meet. If all goes well, I'd be happy to continue to receive many more emails from you.

Your Name Is?

So let's be honest, when browsing through numerous profiles of available men (mostly available, b/c some are mysteriously separated but apparently are in hurry to find someone for the moment), one of the first things to catch attention are their photos and their names. I'll leave the photos for the next time, so let's talk about names.

Naming your profile is like coming up with a book title - it has to say something about who you are, be catchy, creative, and stand out. There are plenty of the standard name+city, or name+birth year, name+occupation profiles (having dr or law is quite popular and prestigious).

Some profile names, however, send me directly to the "delete" key. If you have words like baby, big, 69, Jesus, daddy in your name, we're not a match. Having creative abbreviations and perhaps intentional misspellings can be amusing - who can't use a brain teaser once in a while, right?

So here's the assignment. Go back to your profile, look at your name and ask yourself what is the first impression that it gives about you. Would it catch your attention?

Love is on Sale

I have a hard time not buying things on sale - sometimes even if they are not a perfect fit. "But you are saving 20-30-40-50%," says a voice in my head. And I listen. When match sent me an email announcing that love was on sale, who was I to say no? And so begins (again) my adventure in the world of Internet dating.

The rules:
I have joined match with a 6-month-guarantee. So unless I meet someone or screw up the rules, I have a whole year to find *the one*. As long as I keep my profile up and open and available for viewing (scrutiny, judging, drooling), and contact 5 members of the fellow Internet-dating tribe, I should be ok.

Let the dating begin/continue.